shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
