A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Mom said you looked used
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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