It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
