Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
