for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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