I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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