My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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