We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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