Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
