I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
