I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
