Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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