she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I supernannyed him into submission
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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