I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
