Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
