This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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