All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
