wat bout pragnant strippers??
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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