are you still at the devil's house?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
