I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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