on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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