im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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