new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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