mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
operation harelip BJ is a go
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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