Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
not ubering you a puppy
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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