I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
