our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
