At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Can you bring me the toilet please
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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