Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
