he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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