Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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