so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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