mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
