I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
ugly people sure do ruin things
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
