OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
what day is it and did you see me today?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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