Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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