Betty ford says i'm here all night
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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