I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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