I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
