I'm laying in your front yard are you home
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
