What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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