You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
