Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
