Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
