I hate your face
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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