dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
