Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
