just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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