Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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