carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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