We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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