You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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